Prerequestite Personal Info

• When not being Swag Valance, I'm creating terror on the Internet as a software engineer in Interactive Content at c|net : the computer network.
  • A company who got its television start with one of the sleaziest computer animation projects in history
  • And no, I will not provide you any stalking information about Gina St. John.
  • Coroner-for-hire who specializes in alien autopsies. [View of my work from another perspective.]
• I was formerly a professional SLACker:
  • home of the first WWW site in the U.S. (May 1991)
  • where what began as a dream of scientific discovery became a nightmare of MUTATED FLESH!
  • where you can find more bad drivers than in Candlestick Park's parking lot following the Giants' "Free Beer Night"
  • SOMEBODY has to work on the control system to prevent other sinister accelerator physicists from steering the beam into the windshields of unsuspecting motorists on I-280. And by golly, I'm just the guy to do it.
  • where, on June 23, 1994, I met Emperor Akihito, figurehead and American political piñata, for my collaboration work with KEK, and we partied like drunken sailors. Anyway - me, the Emperor, and Gavin MacLeod have been doin' this salsa thing at Charo's School for the Coochie Coochie Impaired for several months now. We're in the same class as Bob Denver and Burt Convy. You should see Gavin when he starts guzzling all those margaritas though - he starts saying some wild shit about Mary Tyler Moore, and the next thing you know he's buck naked and throwing furniture off the bridge on the Princess Cruise liner screaming, "Yeah - if my friends could see THIS now, Cathie Lee!!" But I digress...
• My entry in the ESnet White Pages.
• Personal photo (though not my best picture).
• I now live in the city of San Francisco.
• I previously lived in the unholy city of Palo Alto, CA:
  • the first U.S. city with its own WWW site
  • more white bread than a family-sized loaf of Wonder
  • where "diversity" means owning a Macintosh
  • where everything comes with pesto (we call it "Pesto Purgatory")
  • sport utility vehicle loser hell
  • a great place to sleep
  • BONUS!: Picture of me Xmas shopping in Palo Alto.
  • I lived next door to Ernie's Liquors, the first liquor store on the web
• Okay, okay ... but seriously: CCD image of myself taken by the infamous web camera at UW-Seattle in June of '95.
• As featured in the always-upcoming book, Secrets of the Webmasters (yep -- that's me in the top right corner on the book cover). This for my efforts as the co-founder (and webmaster from its inception in November 1994 until March 31, 1996) of Crossnet, the American Red Cross' national public web site.
• I'm also an Internet consultant to WhoWhere? -- a premier Web-based e-mail search engine as featured in the March 11, 1996 Forbes and recommended on other top Internet sites. (You can also ID my partners in crime under The Team).
• Finger me at SLAC

• Created 07Jun94
• Last modified 08Jul96
• Back to the Swag Valance Home Page.