Prerequestite Personal Info
- When not being Swag Valance, I'm creating terror on the Internet as
a software engineer in Interactive Content at c|net : the computer network.
- I was formerly a professional SLACker:
- home of the first WWW
site in the U.S. (May 1991)
- where what began as a dream of scientific discovery became a
nightmare of MUTATED FLESH!
- where you can find more bad drivers than in Candlestick Park's parking lot
following the Giants' "Free Beer Night"
- SOMEBODY has to work on the control system to prevent other
sinister accelerator physicists from steering the beam into the
windshields of unsuspecting motorists on I-280. And by golly,
I'm just the guy to do it.
- where, on June 23, 1994, I met
Emperor Akihito, figurehead and American political piñata,
for my collaboration work with KEK, and we partied like drunken sailors.
Anyway - me, the Emperor, and Gavin MacLeod have been doin' this salsa
thing at Charo's School for the Coochie Coochie Impaired for
several months now. We're in the same class as Bob Denver and Burt
Convy. You should see Gavin when he starts guzzling all those
margaritas though - he starts saying some wild shit about Mary Tyler
Moore, and the next thing you know he's buck naked and throwing
furniture off the bridge on the Princess Cruise liner screaming,
"Yeah - if my friends could see THIS now, Cathie Lee!!"
But I digress...
My entry in the ESnet White Pages.
Personal photo (though not my best picture).
- I now live in the city of
- I previously lived in the unholy city of Palo Alto, CA:
- the first U.S. city with its own WWW site
- more white bread than a family-sized loaf of Wonder
- where "diversity" means owning a Macintosh
- where everything comes with pesto (we call it "Pesto Purgatory")
- sport utility vehicle loser hell
- a great place to sleep
BONUS!: Picture of me Xmas shopping in Palo Alto.
- I lived next door to Ernie's
Liquors, the first liquor store on the web
- Okay, okay ... but seriously:
CCD image of myself taken by the infamous
web camera at UW-Seattle
in June of '95.
- As featured in the always-upcoming book,
Secrets of the Webmasters (yep -- that's me in the top right
corner on the book cover). This for my efforts as the co-founder
(and webmaster from its inception in November 1994 until March 31, 1996)
of Crossnet, the American Red
Cross' national public web site.
- I'm also an Internet consultant to
WhoWhere? -- a premier Web-based e-mail
search engine as featured in the March 11, 1996 Forbes and
recommended on other top Internet sites. (You can also ID my partners in crime
under The Team).
Finger me at SLAC
Sorry. I'd disclose more, but I just don't feel safe knowing that
Mothra is on the loose...
Copyright © Swag Valance Publishing Ltd, 1994-1996