All Seeing ED

All Seeing ED

%ed allseeinged
Q: It's been awhile since we talked. What have you been up to?

Ed: I'm still a Line Editor at UNIX, but I'm trying to break-into another line of work. I want to be a "FUTURIST".

Q: I can see that. ;)

Ed: No, I'm serious. Like that Tom Peters guy. You have to say stuff like: "In 2054 we'll be an info-managed society transported by monorail".

Q: That sounds pretty good.

Ed: Yeah, I've been working on it.

Q: So how is the future looking?

Ed: Well, we FUTURISTs can't give a lot of specifics, but we're pretty good at spotting broad trends.

Q: Such as?

Ed: Size matters. At home you want a BIG screen, but on the go you want something smaller, portable. Tablets will get smaller. They'll get as small as smart phones. The Palm PDA will be reincarnated into the new era of small. Graphic Design will go out the window -- can't design for a 3" by 3" screen. Out with all that garbage (frames, multi-columns, animation, pop-ups), and in with our old friend the LYNX browser. In the future everyone wears glasses.

Q: Why LYNX?

Ed: It's small; has been around forever, so all the bugs are out. Patakuti in Japan is leading LYNX development, so he's the man of the future.

Q: Where do you see hemlines going?

Ed: That depends on the 2012 election. If Palin's ticket wins, hemlines go up. If Hillary wins, no hemlines in the pantsuit era.

Q: How about the "Big Mac" index -- is the price rising or falling, and by how much?

Ed: The price will stay the same, but the meat will shrink 12%.

Q: What about the monorails?

Ed: We'll either ride 'em or walk -- but only in Japan. In the U.S., we'll have government-made electric Segway scooters and limit our movements to a three-block radius.

Q: I guess that would save some gas...

Ed: Right, but the nuke and coal plants will burn day and night to charge 'em up.

Q: Do you see anything else?

Ed: She is about medium height, dark hair; I smell sandalwood...

Q: Thanks, Ed!

Ed: You're welcome!
Thu Apr 7 18:05:54 MDT 2011