You Might Be An Internet Addict

In the tradition of Jeff Foxworthy, Jeff Traigle presents...

... you might be an Internet addict.

If someone asks for your address so you give your email address...

If you meet more people electronically than you do in real life but you don't mind because it's cool to play with the programs on your computer...

If your idea of a workout is typing and mouse-clicking...

If people think you commute from the Carribbean because your face and hands are always tanned from your computer monitor...

If you're starting to regress to the belief that the world is flat because you only see it in two dimensions on the computer screen...

If your friends want to go surfing so you automatically run your favorite Web browser on your computer to join in the fun...

If your Internet access has become a basic need on Maslow's hierarchy so you become weak and ill if you can't have access to your computer for extended periods of time...

If, when you hear someone talking about the crack problem, you remember it's time to change the passwords on all of your computer accounts...

If you start acting like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor whenever a new model of computer is released and you go orgasmic if it's a supercomputer...

If you think the best protection when having sex is having your computer plugged into a UPS...