For your true classified ads I offer the followiny which I learned when I was 
studyiny TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) at the University of 
Toronto.  The professor swore these were actual ads:

The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in 
a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY: For sale: R.D.  Jones has one sewing machine for sale.  Phone 
948-0707 after 7 P.M..  and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday.  It should 
have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap.  Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. 
Kelly,  who lives with him after 7 P.M."

WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D.  Jones has informed us that he has received several 
annoyiny telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad 
yesterday.  The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale -- R.D.  Jones has one 
sewing machine for sale.  Cheap.  Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.  and ask for 
Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."

THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale.  I smashed 
it.  Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected.  I have not 
been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly.  Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but 
she quit!