We, the undersigned, hereby declare that much of the problem with people today
is that
they don't have a good, wholesome hobby. That's right! A
good, wholesome hobby,
such as keeping an aquarium of Goldfish. Nothing is
quite as tranquil as watching the
delightful swimming movements of Goldfish.
We submit that NO person would strap on an explosive-laden vest and blow
themselves
up if they were true caretakers of Goldfish (knowing that they had hungry
Goldfish at home
waiting to be fed).
Therefore, our plan for world peace is to encourage
all agencies to promote and fund
Goldfish aquariums in every home
(or at least in every neighborhood Goldfish Club).
We hope that you are with us on this. Afterall, we are very cute.
Signed,
Goldie Fisher, Rex Goldsmith, Fred Goldberg, Golda Meyer
September 5, 2007
--To find a Goldfish Club near you, consult the Yellow Pages under "Associations"--