We, the undersigned, hereby declare that much of the problem with
people today is that they don't have a good, wholesome hobby.
That's right! A good, wholesome hobby, such as keeping an aquarium of
Goldfish. Nothing is quite as tranquil as watching the
delightful swimming movements of Goldfish.
We submit that NO person would strap on an explosive-laden vest and
blow themselves up if they were true caretakers of Goldfish
(knowing that they had hungry Goldfish at home waiting to be fed).
Therefore, our plan for world peace is to encourage all agencies to
promote and fund Goldfish aquariums in every home (or at least
in every neighborhood Goldfish Club).
We hope that you are with us on this. Afterall, we are very cute.
Signed,
Goldie Fisher, Rex Goldsmith, Fred Goldberg, Golda Meyer
September 5, 2007
--To find a Goldfish Club near you, consult the Yellow Pages under "Associations"--