1> Use his forehead as a deep-body massage device
BC: You've been reading alt.startrek.creative.erotica too often...
2> Butler or footman (imagine a Klingon in white tie and tails)
BC: But we've already seen this! Our Man Bashir...
3> Master of Ceremonies at the annual Alliance Olympics - activities
include the usual Springball, Ferengi-football, Pin-the-Tail-on-
the-Terran, Bat'leth toss, etc.
BC: Ferengi bowling. Ferengi-Toss...
Grand prize: one night alone with the Intendant to experience her
special brand of gymnastic feats, then be summarily executed in the
morning.
4> "Lounger"
RV: watch the first Intendant scene in TTLG & you'll know what
I mean ;={)
BC: No explanation needed.
RV: Come to think if it, Blanche, you're right. *g*
5> Bath-attendant (keeps the milk fresh & warm?? Sponge-handler??)
BC: yup -- you've *definitely* been reading alt.sex.startrek.erotica...
6> Other uses for his forehead...match-striker? Nut-cracker?
BC: that was weak. No, more than weak ... lame.
RV: It was an off-night for me...
7> Janitor (armed with a bucket, mop & those indispensable Intendant
drool-towels!).
8> Vole-catcher Extraordinaire
BC: Hm. Wonder if Sauteed Vole could be a Klingon delicacy...
"Worf's Guide to Classic Cuisine on DS9"
9> To elaborate further on the previous item,
Worfie & His Amazing Trained Voles act.
BC: Woofie & His Amazing Trained Voles
Woofie & His Amazing Trained Ferengi
10> Spokesklingon for Nutragena T-Gel Shampoo: "Hypokeratosis...."
BC: no comment.
11> Replace Majel Barrett as the voice within the Terok Nor main
computer. Somehow "This station will self-destruct in 30 seconds"
has a more appropriately ominous tone with Worf's voice.
BC: Naw - I want to see "Fascination" but with Worf in it...
RV: How about this...the holo-scene in "Meridian": Kira's body
and Worf's head instead of Quark's.
BC: Is that a request for me to crank up the scanner again? OK.
Keep your eyes on my web page - I'll try to do somthing this
weekend. Gadzooks, you're sick!
12> Provide entertainment during state functions (sing "Tiptoe Thru
The Tulips" with a ukelele, a soft-shoe routine with Garak,
or whatever amuses the Intendant **evil grin**).
BC: Has Worf got the appropriate vibrato?
RV: no, but he can play a mean uke!
13> Host of "Terran Gladiators", the hot new show on UPN.
BC: Terrans are weak. "Alliance Gladiators", now *that's*
a show worthy of Klingons! Klingon Gladiators vs Cardassians!
14> Lifeguard at the Intendant's private resort on Risa.
RV: Worf could spend hours daydreaming he's on "Baywatch" .
BC: Worf *could* be on Baywatch, but who would notice? Now if
K'lehyr were on Baywatch....wait a minute, that should have
been *YOUR* line!
15> Star in the Greater Terok Nor Opera's production of Verdi's
"Othello"
RV: Happened to be inspired by Placido Domingo doing the same.
BC: Or Placido Flamingo?
I dunno. I think Riker and Worf doing Klingon Opera would
be a definite sell-out
16> Customer Service Representative for TNOL (Terok Nor Online).
RV: I did it for three months so now it's YOUR turn, Worfie!
BC: eeeee-yes!
17> Worfie & His Bubbly & Buxom Bajorettes!
Now in their third sold-out engagement
at the Kayless' Palace Resort,
New Las Vegas, Risa.
RV: You should see his Barry White impression...."ooooh baaahby!"
18> All-Alliance Championship Wrestling!!!:
"Iron-Head" Worf vs. "Smiley" O'Brien!
RV: "Manager" Intendant Kira gets into the fray...then..OOHH!!
It looks as if she's taking them BOTH on....***censored***
19> Script-writer for "Star Trek CCLVIX: Yet Another Final Frontier"
and finally....***drumroll....or...Terran head-roll***.....
BC: I think a rimshot would be more appropriate....
bah-dump--BRUMP!
20> Bring the Intendant her slippers & fetch her morning paper!
BC: Here, Woofie! Sit Woofie! Goooood Woofie!
Have some nice fresh gagh, Woofie.....
We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast...