New Characters for Next Season

Originally written in 1997

The Fifth Season of Star Trek:Deep Space Nine (DS9) is rapidly approaching. Thought we'd provide some background information on new characters we expect to be seeing on the Station, around Cardassia and rummaging thru the Wormhole...

Brought to you by Andrew H. [We're keeping his last name secret to avoid retaliations....] And Joe. And T, J, R, R, K, G, A, et al.

(Much funnier if you read them aloud...)

The Terrans

Fran Sisko - wasn't she on "Alien Nation"? Miles To Go Before I Sleep O'Brien.

The Cardassians

Gul D'Medal - Master Chef to the Obsidian Order Gul Dinth Emthar Hills. Gul Sea. Gul T'Pleasures - Dessert Chef for the Obsidian Order Gul Of Some People. Gul Divided Into Three Parts. Gul de Charles. Gul Ag Gul Igan Gul Otine Gul Fandwestern Gul Ofmydreams Gul Liver Gul Friday Gul Bladder - Surgeon General Gul of the Wild. Obscene Phone Gul. Gul/You Got Me Goin Now/You Got Me So I Can't Sleep At Night Dukat, B4, Duhorse (a crossover) Gul Digger Gul Dinopportunity Guls Just Wanna Have Fu-hun - Entertainment Director for the Obsidian Order Gul Loshes Gul FrmUncle Gul Ash - Assistant Master Chef for the Obsidian Order Gul D'Narches - Former Sous Chef for the Obsidian Order Gul El - from this Cardassian colony with a red sun that blew up... Legate Orade Legate Leplane Legate Legume Legate Sovhell

The Bajorans

Kai Ya - Bruce Willis impersonator Kai Yo - Another Bruce Willis impersonator Kai Rho. Kai Winn, Kai Lose, and Kai Draw - Singing trio in New Las Vegas, Risa. Opaka Lies. Vedek Bells Are Gonna Chime. Vedek March (from Lohengrin). Vedek Quiet (he's hunting wabbits). Intendant Porpoises - new characters in the next Diane Duane Trek novel

The Ferengi

Top Quark. Bottom Quark. Strange Quark. Programmable Rom. Egg On His Face Nog. Bump On The Nog. Nog Uts. Nog Lory. Daimon Anniversary Daimons are Forever Dniw Eht Htiw Nog FuK, Trek scripting language (with apologies to Don Knuth)

The Klingons

Worf And Peacef. Worf Is Hellf. Worf Ucked.

On the Station - *Any* Station

Odo I God a Code. Sit, Odo, Sit. Good Changeling. Palindrome Odo Emordnilap. Odo a Odear. Fifteen-Hour Odo Developing. Beavis and Bonehead Lenin, Lennier, Lenniest - I am a spear carrier, You are a spear carrier, He is a spear carrier Londo Before Timeo Maquis to Success Satai Dye T-shirts Valen Banshees - Eddie Van Halen's original band Vir Coming To Take You Away

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