New Characters for Next Season

Originally written in 1997

The Fifth Season of Star Trek:Deep Space Nine (DS9) is rapidly approaching. Thought we'd provide some background information on new characters we expect to be seeing on the Station, around Cardassia and rummaging thru the Wormhole...

Brought to you by Andrew H. [We're keeping his last name secret to avoid retaliations....] And Joe. And T, J, R, R, K, G, A, et al.

(Much funnier if you read them aloud...)

The Terrans
Fran Sisko - wasn't she on "Alien Nation"?                              
Miles To Go Before I Sleep O'Brien.
              
The Cardassians                                                        
Gul D'Medal - Master Chef to the Obsidian Order
Gul Dinth Emthar Hills.
Gul Sea.
Gul T'Pleasures - Dessert Chef for the Obsidian Order
Gul Of Some People.
Gul Divided Into Three Parts. 
Gul de Charles.         
Gul Ag                 
Gul Igan                                   
Gul Otine
Gul Fandwestern
Gul Ofmydreams
Gul Liver
Gul Friday
Gul Bladder - Surgeon General
Gul of the Wild.
Obscene Phone Gul.
Gul/You Got Me Goin Now/You Got Me So I Can't Sleep At Night
Dukat, B4, Duhorse (a crossover)
Gul Digger
Gul Dinopportunity
Guls Just Wanna Have Fu-hun - Entertainment Director for the Obsidian Order
Gul Loshes
Gul FrmUncle
Gul Ash - Assistant Master Chef for the Obsidian Order
Gul D'Narches - Former Sous Chef for the Obsidian Order
Gul El - from this Cardassian colony with a red sun that blew up...

Legate Orade
Legate Leplane
Legate Legume
Legate Sovhell

The Bajorans
Kai Ya - Bruce Willis impersonator
Kai Yo - Another Bruce Willis impersonator
Kai Rho.
Kai Winn, Kai Lose, and Kai Draw - Singing trio in New Las Vegas, Risa.
Opaka Lies.
Vedek Bells Are Gonna Chime.
Vedek March (from Lohengrin).
Vedek Quiet (he's hunting wabbits).
Intendant Porpoises -  new characters in the next Diane Duane Trek novel

The Ferengi
Top Quark.
Bottom Quark.
Strange Quark.
Programmable Rom.
Egg On His Face Nog.
Bump On The Nog.
Nog Uts.
Nog Lory.
Daimon Anniversary
Daimons are Forever
Dniw Eht Htiw Nog
FuK, Trek scripting language (with apologies to Don Knuth)

The Klingons
Worf And Peacef.
Worf Is Hellf.
Worf Ucked.

On the Station - *Any* Station
Odo I God a Code.
Sit, Odo, Sit.  Good Changeling.
Palindrome Odo Emordnilap.
Odo a Odear.
Fifteen-Hour Odo Developing.

Beavis and Bonehead
Lenin, Lennier, Lenniest - I am a spear carrier, You are a spear carrier,
   He is a spear carrier
Londo Before Timeo
Maquis to Success
Satai Dye T-shirts
Valen Banshees - Eddie Van Halen's original band
Vir Coming To Take You Away

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