Recently, I took a close look at my life and tried to figure out why I wasn't getting what I wanted out of life. There seemed to be something holding me down. Something strange seemed to be on my back. Finally, I realized, man, it's The Man. I quickly looked around the house to see if I could find any evidence of The Man and his influence, but of course, you never see The Man. I went down to the library to see what else I could find out about The Man. I was stunned to find out that there is not a single book or even magazine article about The Man. What power! Someone that touches everybody's life and not a single word about him. I saw evidence of The Man everywhere I looked. I drove to work and traffic was horrible on the turnpike. Obviously, The Man was on my back. All the new Fall shows are not funny. The Man again. There is some stupid baseball game on instead of Melrose. Need I say more?
Once I realized what was going on, I felt a huge relief. Luckily now, my current job seems to be more free of The Man than other places I have worked. TCI was like The Man's private torture chamber. There was not a single move made that They (They is another issue altogether. Maybe another web page.) didn't consult The Man or at least, The Man's minions.
You might have noticed that I have signed this. I figure, The Man already knows about this and me. My intent is to expose the horrible influence The Man has over all of us. Maybe, someone will know someone who met someone who might know who The Man is and then we have a first step to getting The Man off our backs. And this isn't one of those U.N. black helicopters B.S. things, this is real and it's scary. So, if this page is ever down or the Internet is too busy to connect to it, then you know The Man is at work. Even if you can't pay your bill for your Internet service and get cut off, then you know The Man is on your back. 404 is The Man's area code.
There is a debate whether The Man is a man or a woman. The current scraps of information I have seem to suggest that the current Man is a man, but there is some evidence that some past Mans were actually women. So The Man is a equal opportunity evil employer.
There is also some debate whether it is The Man or Da' Man. Only The Man knows for sure and he isn't telling.
If anybody needs help with this The Man thing, I am willing to hold seminars or lectures, for a small fee, of course. Learning about The Man has been a turning point in my life and, for a small fee, I would be willing to share my new liberation with anybody, who has the small fee.
This is the only known picture of The Man. The quality is a bit lacking, but, The Man doesn't want us to know what he looks like. Soon after this photograph came into my possession, the person who took the picture disappeared and was never heard from again. Pretty mysterious. He either was totally held down by The Man or The Man turned him to the dark side and enlisted him in the Junior The Man training university and he could be one of his minions right now.
Do not ignore this danger. The Man is everywhere. Don't forget those small fees for my assistance and remember to always "Stick it to The Man."
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