Subject: ASSC: Dating Strippers
From: [email-masked] (Bob Smyth)
Date: 19 Sep 1997 04:25:58 -0600
Newsgroups: alt.sex.strip-clubs

How do you do; my name is Bob Smyth.

I have something to add to this topic of dating strippers.

I just got back from a "1st date" with Thelma Jean who has 
big hair, big boobs, and a big smile.

I'd tell you where she works but then that might draw customers
to the place which would drive up the prices.

Anyway, for our first date, she took me home to meet her Mom & Dad.

I was bit nervous and I think that had an effect on my digestion.

Well it was either the nerves or that Big Mac I had for lunch.

To be specific, I was having trouble holding in my ... gas.

I stunk up the car so bad on the way over that I had to roll
down the windows.

I met Thelma Jean at the front door and she then introduced me to her
parents.

After chatting in the living room a bit we headed into the dining room.

I was much relieved because I had a real good grip on my sphincter.

I'd hate for them to think I'm a "stinker".

I started to breath a little easier.

But...

About half way through the meal I reached for the mashed potatoes and ...
cut one.

Talk about embarrassment!

Mrs Jenkins (Thelma Jean's Mom) gives me a quizzicle look.  Next,
her eyes move down to ...
the family poodle/terrier mutt under my chair.

He must have snuck under there.

She says, "Rex!"

I totally relax, she must have thought the dog did it.

I finish off the my mashed potatoes and Mrs Jenkins clears the
dishes and brings in pumpkin pie.

By now my gas level has gone up and I'm feeling rather "full" again.

About half way through the pie I cut another stinker about twice
as loud as the mashed potato one.

Mrs Jenkins turns to the dog and says, "Rex!"

By now I'm starting to feel sorry for the dog.  I certainly felt
much better though.

After pie, Mrs Jenkins brings out coffee.

About half way through the coffee I am totally suprised by yet
another stinker emanating from my chair area about twice as
loud as the pumpkin pie one.

It was so loud...
it made everyone jump a little.

It smelled really bad.

Mrs Jenkins turns to the dog and says, "Rex!, you better move
before Bob shits all over you."

-Bob "outa control" Smyth