Subject: ASSC k-mart crowd control in SF CA
From: [email-masked] (Bob Smyth)
Date: 21 Nov 1996 02:39:31 -0700
Newsgroups: alt.sex.strip-clubs

[email-masked] -->
>
>Greetings--and thank you for your attention to this post!

BobSmyth -****->
Gawd man, how could I ignore it!

[email-masked] -->
>
>This is not a joke. ALS, Bubba & mrking among others should be willing to 
>vouch for my authenticity. To make a long story short, I've been asked to 
>assist with the management and marketing of what is being planned as San
>Francisco's newest strip club.

BobSmyth -****->
I've never heard of this guy.
For all I know he is Dilbert's dog.

I'd not trust ALS any further than ...
the length of his ...
penis.

Bout Bubba, most times I look at him,
he has some babe's legs wrapped round his head.
I think he could give a valuable opinions on...

-female pubic hair removal technology
-preparing the dog bone for safe sex
-k-9 communication techniques
(he's working on a book: "Whimper Your Way Into Her Pants")
(I'll write the sequel: "Pant If You Can't")

And Mr King.  That guy is a card carrying pervert.
He's a sysop of some pornographic BBS over in the east bay.
(anyone happen to know the number?)

[email-masked] -->
> 
>On many occasions, we have wondered out loud how pleasant a club could be 
>if it were intelligently operated and genuinely customer friendly--if we 
>had the luxury of an opportunity to create something based on this ideal.

BobSmyth -****->
hmmm...
interesting idea.
if you bend over forwards for the customer, you will either 
loose money or piss off the dancers.

Of course a customer friendly club sounds like the kind of place
I'd like to spend my money.

So, count me in.

[email-masked] -->
> 
>This opportunity seems to have finally arrived and I would like to seek 
>the valuable input of ASSCers, of all stripes, to help make this an 
>establishment that does not elicit the same old complaints.

BobSmyth -****->
3 suggestions:
-give away free rubbers

-clean the mens room (now that I think about it; the womens room too)

-make sure the soap dispenser dispenses soap
(for some reason I like to wash my hands a lot)

-put a suggestion box next to the front door

-put an electronic suggestion box on the web

-teach math lessons

-replace the DJ with a computer

-allow customers to buy mints & drinks from a snack bar rather than 
a pushy waitress

-have an espresso machine 
(actually hot drinks in a strip club might be a bad idea, but certainly
less hazardous than a container of flaming hot wax on each table).

-allow in&out

-keep the bouncers low-key like the ones over at MBT; not like the
asshole bouncers at the KitKat.

-make the admission price high to keep out the k-mart crowd, but don't
push overpriced drinks and other extras once the customer is in the door.

-encourage customer loyalty with discount coupons and "free fridays".

-if you have a lot of room, offer a variable environment like MBT does

-if you don't have a lot of room, don't waste it like crazy horse does

-the CP does not have a lot of room but the layout is very good; you
can see the stage and just about anywhere else in the club from a nice
selection of seats on the periphery.  Also the stage is elevated for
guys like Bubba.

-if you show porno movies; show only 35 mm porno movies

-offer ATM services

-if you have a movie room, don't put a GIANT screen in there unless the room
is also giant.

-if you have a small movie room, call it the living room & put a couch
and big color TV in there; of course it would be nice if a lady were
available to help the customers play with ...  the remote control.  It
might be a good idea to get some plastic covers for the couch.

-I've seen a big house cat over at the MSC to keep down the vermin population,
try not to let the population get out of control in the first place.

-for the really big spenders (and secret agents), offer the "hot tub room".

-once in awhile use live music rather than recorded music.

-if you have booths, put couches in there; don't make the lappers
standup like the MBT does.  Also I imagine that the dancers would
welcome a chance to get off their feet once in awhile.  this is 
probably more true at MBT than at CP.

[email-masked] -->
> 
>The first query to the group is this: Does anyone know of anyone--or of 
>someone else who might know of anyone--who would be a good candidate for 
>stage manager, to manage the dancers at this establishment? This is one 
>of the first items on the owner's agenda, even though it may be putting 
>the cart a bit before the horse.

BobSmyth -****->
Here's a wild idea which would probably not work but will generate discussion: 

I'd not hire a stage manager.  

I'd ask the dancers to elect a dancer to act as one once a month or whatever 
and then figure out what she is worth and then pay her.  

I think a stage manager should be a dancer.

Also if the dancer's are idependent contractors, treat them like independent 
contractors.  Let them come and go (like me) when they wanna.

We could call this the libertarian approach to dancer control.

This would leave all the money hungry dancers working the crowd and all the
lazy dancers boffing a lead guitarist backstage at the Warfield or at
home sleeping.

[email-masked] -->
> 
>Ideally, the person would be a female who is very good at managing 
>dancers. She should be familiar with the club scene from first-hand 
>experience, but she should not be jaded or cynical. She should have a 
>positive attitude and be dedicated to inspiring in the dancers the same 
>kind of positive attitude toward their work. She should embody what in my 
>opinion is the ASSC spirit, to the effect that dancers and customers do not
>have to be adversaries or opponents, that it is possible to cultivate a 
>win-win-win club "culture" involving management, employees and customers. 
>The stage manager should believe wholeheartedly that adult, sexually 
>oriented entertainment need not be a sleazy or guilt-ridden experience. 

BobSmyth --****->
Dude, SF is on planet earth.
where the hell are you?
You have lofty goals; I hope it works out.
It will be hard to please both the customers & the dancers and make money.

Actually, I think it would work if you ask the bouncers to
wear pajammas and allow j0sh & Bob in for free.

In exchange for free admission, j0sh & Bob would be willing
to run the mandatory valet parking.  

Actually, maybe ALS should be in charge of parking.

We'd still want in free though.

-Bob "part of the k-mart crowd" Smyth