to: als2@ix.netcom.com Subject: Interview question: You wearing a rubber? --text follows this line-- Bob Smyth here in SF, California... I went to mbt tonight to check out the girl/girl action in the green door room. The show was simply mah-val-less. Everytime I watch them honeys getting it on with each other I start thinking about getting a sex change. I'm coming out of the closet: I'm a boner-find male lesbian. I want to work at Mitchell Brothers in the Green Door room! It kind of reminds me of a funny sig I saw in a comp.something posting: Are you male or e-mail? Tonight was sunday so it was a little slower than usual but I still got jostled about by the crowd. Some ass-hole stepped on my foot while I was sitting in the front row of ny-live. I told him "ouch!", but he just ignored me and started pushing his way through the crowd ahead of him like he was trying to catch a Tokyo subway. Memorable mention goes to Lola and Jackie for their stage shows. Jackie, looks familiar; I think she might have danced at NC. Oh I forgot to mention that admission is $30 which seems kind of high. It does keep out the riff-raff and members of the ALS entourage. Actually they are okay guys except they gave gotten in the habit of asking me an embarrassing question: "Hey Bob! You wearing a rubber?!!??" Usually, I just yank out the waist band of my PJs and look before answering the truth which is either, "yes" or, "no". But you and I know that the world is an interesting place if you are not working on the Schedule E of your 1995 1040. "yes" or, "no" is dull. So while I was working on installing Turbo Tax tonight I thought up some "witty" answers to the rubber question. Please let me know if you have an opinion or any additional answers. The friday night crowd at CP is kinda quick so I want to be totally, mentally (sp?) prepared for them. And this might not be just an academic question. I mean picture this, you are sitting in front of a prospective employer. The questions are coming at you fast and furious. This is one tough job interview. And then the blue lipped, anal protective, HR rep asks, "Hey Bob! You wearing a rubber?!!??" Bob: No, I don't use rubbers anymore; I use Saran wrap. Bob: I was, but your SO rubbed it off with her butt while she was giving me a lap dance while you were at work. She likes to give me lap dances because she says at home the most she can get out of you for a lap dance is $10. I asked her about her wedding ring. She's says it's genuine cubic zirconium. Bob: I was, but I gave it to Ender. When he's done with it I'm sure he will let you borrow it. No need to return it to me; I'm switching to Saran wrap. Bob: Rubber? I don't need no steenken rubber! Bob: Yes I am. Here, take it, you can use it. I'm done with it. Bob: I was, but then I took it off and filled it with water. On the way home from school, I tossed it out of the school bus into a convertible full of cheerleaders. Oh, you didn't know? Yep, I'm still trying to graduate from high school and I'm older than the Principal. Bob: It's none of your business and no you can't check! These are the only ones I can think of now. Let me know if you come up with more. Anyway back to mbt... I checked out the movie in the movie room. It had some good points. The star was Janine Lillamuller (sp?). She looked hot. The plot revolved around her life as a stripper and how she falls in love with a blond police woman. While I was in there wishing that Janine was grinding my noodle, Syd approached me for a dance. She's about 6' in heels with long blond hair. She's probably about 22. For some reason I had a real quick trigger so the lap dance turned into more of conversation than a hot & sweaty dry hump. Oh that reminds me. If a lap dance is a dry hump, could we call an extended session of ramming-it-home intercourse?? a "wet hump"? uh,,, almost lost my train of thought Back to Syd. She asked about my ass-c button. I explained about the ass-c and that I'm called the Pajama Man there. I told her I switched to pajamas about a year ago when a stripper complained about my belt buckle. I said I could put in a good word for her if she wanted. She said, "Sure." We talked some more. She seemed to be in a good mood which is very important to me. So, I liked Syd. I think you will like her too. So that's the news from, "Lake where's-my-money gone" Where all the strippers are gorgeous-full-contact wet dreams... All the strip clubs are easy to find... And all the customers are polite. . -Bob "boner-find male lesbian" Smyth .