Why do I write stories about women being hanged and strangled to death?

The flippant answer: because they turn me on. But that's a reason for me to read them, not to post them or build this website.

A better answer: to reach people who are in the situation I was in back in 1992. I was reading alt.sex.stories but mostly not finding what I was looking for. But the variety of stories, some including really vicious torture, encouraged me to think that I might not, after all, be alone in my fascination with hanging and strangling women.

Please note, I have no commercial motive. I'm not trying to sell anything.

I don't even know how my fascination with hanging and strangulation started. I can't really remember that far back. I can remember fantasies shortly after puberty, but I suspect it started even before I became sexually aware. I used to love reading books about capital punishment and about pirates. I was especially interested in descriptions of hanging, the garrote, and other forms of execution by asphyxia — especially ones that include compressing the victim's neck. Descriptions of drowning and smothering rarely affected me much.

In 1992, I posted a request for hanging/strangulation stories. That got responses from the major writers of breath control fiction: Johnny, Sarge, and Ozymandius. Johnny told me where to find stories with the theme I was looking for, and that got me started writing stories. (A few experiences with netsex helped me learn how to write explicit scenes, too.)

So I write stories, put them up on my website, and post them to suitable newsgroups. And I let other people use my stories on their site, as long as they don't charge for access.

I hope maybe someone else will take heart and realize they're not alone. Once I got a note from somebody saying how much of a thrill he got from hanging himself and jacking off. So I wrote back warning of the dangers of solo breath control play; maybe, just maybe I have saved a life. A few others have been encouraged to write, to collaborate with me on stories, or to post stories they wrote but hadn't known anyone else was interested in.

Do I want to do the awful things described in the snuff stories? Am I a potential serial killer? I don't think so. Even ignoring the legal repercussions and the ethics of killing another person for my pleasure, the simple fact is that I don't think it would be at all erotic, just ugly and messy. When somebody dies they lose control of their sphincters. And instead of a partner who could enjoy sex with me, I'd have a dead body with the muscles all gone slack that I'd have to dispose of somehow. Eeew, gross!

(Not that I have anything against the real necrophiles out there. It's just not my kink.)

More recently, some people have posted crime scene photos of actual dead bodies. For the most part I didn't find these nearly as arousing as the posed, faked photos that had appeared earlier. And the 'real' ones I found most arousing are those most like the posed ones, where the victim's face is not contorted but looks comfortable or even aroused, and the bruising on the neck and any other damage is covered up by the rope still in place.

In order for me to turn into a killer, at least four things would have to go wrong with my thinking.

I would have to:

• lose track of the fact that murder is wrong
• believe that I could get away with it (history is replete with people who thought this and even succeeded — for a while. Then they were executed or spent the rest of their lives in awful prisons.)
• start thinking that real death scenes were sexy
• convince myself that the victim was actually consenting (or get involved with someone like Sharon Lopatka, who actually convinced herself that she wanted to be murdered during sex). But such a person is not sane enough to give meaningful consent, IMHO.(*)

  (*) YMMV, YKIOKIJNMK. If you happen to be such a person, I won't tell you it's bad or you shouldn't have such feelings. Just that I, for my own reasons, won't involve myself in it.

But imagining it with no real person involved is a turn on for me. It's my kink and I make no apologies for it. You don't like it, too bad.

If your kinks don't match mine or perhaps you have no kinks at all and prefer just plain MF stories with no extras, go somewhere else. These aren't the stories you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along... Move along.... I do my best to warn you off if you don't want to read breath control fiction.

So, if you object to stories about hanging and strangling but you're reading my site anyway, I have a question for you. Why did you read them? What would it take in the way of notes and caveats to warn you off?

Now of course if you do like reading stories about hanging or strangulation combined with sex (with or without the bottom being killed), but you think my stories are poorly written, by all means feel free to criticize. comments are welcome.

Please note, I only wrote those stories listed as being by "A. P. Damien" (or just "Damien"). I'm not Johnny. I'm not Sarge. I'm not Woodburn. Some authors have been kind enough to give me permission to post their stories, but I have no control over the quality of their writing. But feel free to write, in most cases I can pass your comments on to the authors.

Thanks for listening!

Damien

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